PHOTOS: THE TEEN MERMAID BARBIE BITCH PARTY

Back in August, my BFF Sarah Sassafrass turned 23 and I flew down to Raleigh to surprise her. She was having the most 2013-themed party of all time and there was absolutely no chance I’d miss it. A combination of four themes that perfectly embody my bff. You may remember this promotional video we hired a Coppola (me) to direct:


Sass, being the dedicated artist that she is, always insists on taking her own party photos. But also being a working woman and a full-time art student leaves little time for working on recreational projects, so it took her a little while to get these photos edited. I won’t say I enjoyed the wait, but I will say it was worth it. Join me in this visual journey under the sea, to a party that ended up somewhere between a sweet 16, a carolina porch party and a pride parade. Naturally, I’m wearing a bra, a crown, a skirt I bought from Guess in 2005, and some five dollar hair.

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I know we weren’t actually underwater, but I could swear I heard bubbles all around my head. Come to think of it, maybe that was the poppers.

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Surprise, Surprise

I should first begin with sincere apologies for not having written sooner, but rest assured I have a set of great excuses. Firstly, I have been very occupied over the last few weeks with drunk day trips to the Rockaways, reenactments of Wrestlemania using only cats, heated debates over Evan Williams about Chris Klein’s career, running from the cops with a mouthful of pickles…that sort of thing. Aside from the usual, I have also been busying myself with a brand new digital art project collabo with the bestie, PatrickOkay. It just debuted yesterday on tumblr at cantfightcrime.tumblr.com and you should definitely follow and reblog (duh). ALSOOO you can check out our DIScrit 89plus page and vote for us in their #YOUNGERTHANRIHANNA artist competition. Here is a sampling of our work if u don’t believe me. 
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Meanwhile, we are always looking for additional collaborators! So if you wanna be in one of our photo shoots, even if just to have an awesome new twitter avi, HMU>>>> message us on tumblr, DM me on twitter @katstkat or email me at thefabdisaster@gmail.com. Any way you want it.

In addition to all the photoshootin, I have secretly been planning to SURPRISE the triangle with my presence for Sarah Sassafrass’ 23rd birthday party (and to get some air outside of Brooklyn). I officially arrived on Tuesday to cohost the extravaganza, which will be held TOMORROW 8/10 at 10:30 PM, 3801 Lexington Drive in Raleigh. Music by LuxePosh, fabulousness by Everyone. Check out this hot ad we made that is sweeping the entire fucking nation as we speak and possibly the entire world, who knows.

If you can be at this party and you aren’t at this party, I’m not really sure what to tell you. Except that there are seats. Over there. Aaaaall the way to the left.

Baby’s First Blog

I was rummaging through my old Myspace blogs today because I was feeling (somehow) more self-indulgent than usual, and I found what looks like a pretty helpful guide for teens on how to avoid getting grounded. If any of my readers are still 16, I hope this helps you. Other words of advice: remember to clear your browser history, don’t spend all your money at Cook Out and if you ever get suspended you can always lie about it on your college applications.

Typos have been left intact for authenticity.

“this is about to be totally useless

it has almost been a year since my first little blog-myspace-adventure-type-venture and i’m feeling pretty psyched.

i thought that since the last entry i ever wrote was pretty STUPID, i would write another possibly less stupid one so you guys could stop thinking that i’m probably still that lame.

here’s the business. i have got absolutely nothing to do. thus my unexpected blogging. i’m in a sort of trouble so technically i can’t leave the house. this does not happen to me often. but just fyi i am not enjoying it and probably would not recommend getting in a sort of trouble yourself if you were mayhaps considering it. my advice is as follows:

1. Be Stealth- the whole reason i’m even here is because i am underly cautious to an embarassing degree.

2. Get Your Story Straight- there is absolutely nothing worse than hearing the words “oh but didnt you just say _________ was picking you up?” and then having to go “oh yeah that’s what i meant” and then face an awkward silence/stare combination. there’s nothing worse than that.

3. Don’t Have People Pick You Up- it’s just easier to get your fuckin license on time. this rule should probably just be “get your license on time” or “don’t be really stupid and set yourself back like a year and a half for absolutely no reason.” if you do that your life will be tragic.

4. Chill The Fuck Out- sometimes it’s better to not get defensive. if mom is like hinting at the fact that she’s got you…and is like no your staying home…then dont yell at her for being unreasonable. because then she’ll actually be mad and pull you out into the garage and give you a talk about lying to her like that right in front of everyone and did i really think she was that stupid, etc, etc.

i tried really hard to come up with 5 rules but i think the rule about not being stupid pretty much sums it up. 

as sad as i seem, a part of me wonders if this isn’t really a blessing in disguise. because without restriction i wouldnt be at home with all this time to blog and stuff.

-kathryn”