Ok, so January kinda sucked. Everyone was hungover from the holidays until about two weeks in, the freelance tv job market was bone dry, and no one wanted to party through their seasonal affective blues. But people, we’ve got at least a month left of this shit, so let’s get it together.
I say that half-jokingly, of course, because I am just as guilty as any of being a stoner/homebody in the winter months…the following photo shows the highlight of one of my more exciting recent Saturdays, wherein I matched my snacks to to my 1980s ski jacket. The state of my face and hair in that photo should give you an idea of how much I haven’t given much of a shit about my appearance (or anything) for most of the past month. My priorities have been mostly TV shows and various deli foods.
As evident in my previous post, I have been fairly active on the internet in my hibernation, but it hasn’t all been bad. Sometimes I get so bored I make fun little art things. My boo had a birthday early in the month so I made a little twitter avi art for him as a gift. I’m thinking of doing others by commission. Summing up people’s essences with google image searching and crude photoshop can be a fun substitute for having a life.
Let’s see, what else did I do in January? Well, I basically had a month long bad hair day! I’m trying to grow my bangs out, as in, trying not to let impatience get the better of me and chop them into a caesar cut just to make my ‘do a little more interesting. For most of January, that is, the 2.5 weeks of it that I was employed, I was doing some freelance video editing. As you can imagine, the standard for beauty in that niche of the industry is pretty low. The following are the before and after pictures of my most recent trim [by Hannah] that I received after a long day at the office. I figure only about a year to go before I’m at my desired length! *laughs for an awkwardly long time while side-eying kitchen scissors*
When I say all I’ve cared about in 2014 is TV (that includes skype sex, right?) and food, I mean it 100%. I’ve eaten more red meat in the last 30 days than in the last 4 years of my life (life hack: most delis will let you add bacon to a meatball sub), and thanks to Reid’s Apple TV I’ve gotten caught up on such boobtube classics as Toddlers & Tiaras and American Horror Story: Asylum. I have a hard time watching that season of AHS while eating ground meat products, but I make do.
I knew I recognized it from somewhere, but still, I PANICKED…someone could have broken into my house, stolen a knife, and left it outside to send the message “hey, I know how to get into your house, and I’m probably going to stab you later just FYI.” Didn’t seem that farfetched to me. Turns out it was just my old roommate’s dad returning it to us.
I have gone out to a few good parties recently. There was F.R.A.T (FUCK RAGE ALWAYS TURNT) a few weekends ago at Steel Drums, which I don’t remember whatsoever aside from looking great and then chatrouletting/watching Mulan in my bed afterwards at 7 am with Reid (my only friend, apparently). Then there was Anna’s birthday party, which was supposed to be a karaoke party but was mostly just people screaming with poppers bottles up their noses.
That night I also did a little something special for my fans, reenacted on snapchat all the best scenes from my favorite web series of all time: Got 2b Real. If you haven’t seen Got 2b Real, you a loser baby. It’s ok, you just a loser! Patti, if you ever want to turn this into a live sketch show, I do a great Mariah/Christina/Fantasia Barrino. You can find me on snapchat at: katstkat.
Anyway, I’m off to get day drunk alone in Martha’s Vineyard. Cause that’s what you’re supposed to do on a snow day, right?